The People’s Playlist: My Life is a Movie (Week 2)
By Matt Edelhart
Inching closer to virtual realities, inquiries on the meaning of our collective reality persist. Added complexities to our daily lives year by year, combined with the prevalence of entertainment, can cloud what we are experiencing.
Is this all for me?
A question I’ve asked myself pretty much everyday. I think that’s called narcissism, but I opt for “my life sometimes feels like a movie”.
It can all feel orchestrated.
Orchestral connections don’t stop there. Soundtracks are the sturdy vertebrae of a movie like binding to a book. The moving pictures show the dimensions of the world, and the music transports you there.
We all project movies in our mind. I know you’ve had this happen: Boss is sweating you about something that really doesn’t matter, but they couldn’t resist irresponsibly manifesting their sexual frustration into a flimsy argument. Then, somewhere in the creative cortex of your brain (I’m not sure if that’s the north, south, east, or west part of your brain. I’m not a compass.), Cee-Lo Green’s “Fuck You” starts playing. Fantasies of you bashing their head in like the printer in ‘Office Space’ emerge. Sure, whatever, you’re not violent.
~You sternly expressed your displeasure.~
Either way, you’re applying music to your movie. So, this week we are taking that sentiment, turning it into exercise; applying it to a playlist of songs we’ve handpicked that take us to a certain “movie in our minds”. A song can act as both soundtrack and script; we picked the movies we see when we hear some of these songs.
My Life is a Movie
1. “Life is a Movie” GZA ft. RZA (only missing SZA)
After North Korea dropped a nuclear missile as retribution for Trump’s distasteful ‘Yo Mama’ jokes, California became a dustbowl. After decades of prosperity, the state needed a hero during these trying times.
In that search for their quasi messiah, enter new Los Angeleno, Otto Jordan Simpson (O.J. Simpson). After saving Detroit from economic depression and bringing jobs to two million Michiganites, from his 4.2 40 yd dash to his constant match with Rachel in “Friends” personality quizzes, nothing seemed too insurmountable. O.J. is ready to take on his biggest challenge yet: post apocalyptic social justice warriors.
Will his name get him in trouble? Can he get them to join his cause before it’s too late?
“THE TECHIES ARE COMING…”
NOTES: David Schwimmer plays both hologram Rob Kardashian and Kris Jenner. He will go on to be the first actor ever to win best supporting actor and best supporting actress.
Terry Davis isn’t like you or me. Terry’s a piece of pizza. This little slice needs a piece of the action.
After an encounter with a piece of $12 quiche that could grant wishes, Terry asked for the one thing he could never have. A voice. Quiche warns him of the possibility of humans turning on him.
After years of talking, Terry made his breakout on a primetime talk show called “Terry Talks”. No human could see the takes like Terry. Terry was on top, but everything on top eventually falls because of gravity.
During an interview with Daniel Craig, Terry says that he wishes for Tom Hardy to play the next James Bond. This enrages social media with calls for his job to be stripped. Their reasoning: why would they keep perpetuating the patriarchal stereotype of male James Bond? 12 hours later, Terry was unemployed. Inexplicably, Terry lost the ability to talk.
How would Terry ever retain that “slice of life”?
NOTES: Terry is voiced by 13 different voice actors throughout the film with standouts like Joel Mchale, Method Man, Meryl Streep, and Jamie Kennedy.
Jackie Monzolato had always been the best pimp in all of Brooklyn, He could cut you faster than you could say “trick” and slap you quicker than one flap of a hummingbird’s wings.
Suddenly, Jackie’s prostitutes go missing left and right. As a way to find the modern day Jack the Ripper, Jackie takes this search to the streets and infiltrates the hoe scene by becoming one himself. You can’t really know what it’s like to be in another person’s shoes until you put those stilettos on yourself.
The investigation of the missing ladies to a search for himself. Will Jackie’s findings about himself distract from the investigation?
NOTES: Dustin Hoffman originally pitched this as ‘Tootsie Too’, a sequel to the original. After being tossed around from studio to studio, it struggled to gain legs until Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson bought the rights.
We always hear about the perspective of celebrities being harassed by anonymous people behind a screen. What about the trolls behind those screens? How’d they get hear?
In an extension of their ‘Project Greenlight’ series, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck chose the winner of the newest season to help direct a documentary. It follows the lives of three troll musketeers that never leave one room
The heartwarming story of a group of friends making it.
NOTES: This film was the reason why Affleck left his role as Batman.
It’s winding down at a 24 hour Starbucks. Caffeine is wearing off, and it’s time to go home. As Thomas Jasper is going to leave his late night study session, he stumbles to the door.
Then, it all turns black.
Thomas wakes up in a warehouse. With only an abacus and an allen wrench, Jasper is rushing against the 37 hour clock to figure out how to get back home.
NOTES: With the director wanting to have you feel how Thomas felt, he decided to keep the 37 ½ hour run time.
After a day of 5th grade, a grandma picks up her grandson from the daycare. They sit and talk about the day. Suddenly, a loud bang. They rush outside, and see that everyone in sight has inexplicably collapsed and died.
They rush to call anyone to see if there is anyone else still alive. No response. They embark on a country-wide trip to find anyone who is still alive. Along the way, chatting about life, religion, and the importance of family.
NOTES: Actually wrote this in my journal when I was 12. Eff off, ‘Leftovers’ and kinda ‘Zombieland’.
In 1987 Temple, Arizona, a body is found of an 15 year old wrestling state champion. Detective Mickey Cornick is on the case, and finds there is more to the story than it seems.
The teenager’s body has gone missing.
Cornick travels all through southwest America to find where his body has been placed. In Santa Monica, CA, Mickey and his partner stop at a roadside burger joint. While in the restroom, Cornick’s partner is held at gunpoint by said teenager. Eventually getting away, Cornick is on the chase for his partner, and find out what clues he missed in the ride of his life.
NOTES: Haley Joel Osment lost 53 lbs for this role. Although critically acclaimed, Osment’s performance as “Mickey Cornick” did not garner him any award nominations. It did jump start a renaissance in his career, and making him one of the hottest actors in Hollywood.
In Blade Runner:20 Minutes Later, we find Deckard and Rachael being stopped by local highway patrol. They are brought in and interrogated using the Voight-Kampff test in separate rooms. Knowing Rachel is a replicant, Deckard gives Rachael a key to get out of her handcuffs and they both bust out.
While running away, Rachael is shot in the back, just like Deckard shot the replicant days earlier. Deckard can’t help but feel responsible.
This sends Deckard into a rampage and kills the whole police department. Being public enemy #1, can Deckard make it safety before being killed?
NOTES: Harrison Ford and Ridley Scott had no part in this movie. Harrison’s face was used completely in CGI, and was awarded $14 million dollars for use of his image. The movie’s total domestic box office was $13.1 million.
In 1854 Compton, California, the Gold Rush has created much divide. The wild, wild west was never wilder.
Anthony Smith, a gold miner, is excavating enough gold to eat every other day. While on site, he is attacked by a cowboy. After the scuffle, Smith grabs a gun and shoots him. The cowboy’s horse has a sack attached with a $2500 in gold.
Knowing that he would never have to worry about feeding family again, Anthony takes the gold and rushes to his house to get his family. From then, his family is on the run from LA’s cowboy gangs.
Can Anthony find his paradise before him and his whole family gets consumed by the West they call home?
NOTES: The director, Mario Van Peebles, wanted to create New Jack City in the 1800s wild west of California. Ice-T plays one
A young dreamer, Marty Singrad, always wanted to be a fashion designer. Coming from a small town in Nova Scotia, he always stood out in the worst ways. Marty liked bright colors and overalls. He knew he was never going to get what he really wanted until he headed to Providence, Rhode Island.
He only had enough money for one of the rent. So only having 30 days and $1000 left in his account, he spent a whole day buying different clothes are creating intricate outfits. Everyday, Singrad would model his new outfit in front of the Nordstrom in the local mall. Days past with no one acknowledging him.
20 days in, a woman comes up and is fascinated by his outfit. She is the head of distributing for Gucci in New England. He tells his story and she says she could get him a 2 min facetime call with the CEO of US operations to convince him for a job.
Marty can’t miss this opportunity cause it’ll never get bigger.
NOTES: Travis $cott picked out 7 outfits for Marty and was a producer on the movie.
Paige Dale played a bus driver in hit show “Yellow and Six” about a school bus driver for a high school and sells weed to her students. Although, it had become a huge hit on FX, she was not creatively satisfied. Paige was a thespian.
Paige decides to do the purest form of acting…street performing.
NOTES: When Jenny Slate was playing Paige, she spent a month as an actual street performer in Tulsa, OK. Jenny went on to say about the experience, “If i’d do it over, i wouldn’t.”
From the people who brought you smash success Thunderstruck, comes the gripping tale of mixed martial artist, Grant O’Toole. Loosely based on his real life, Conor McGregor stars in his first movie about his rise to prominence in the fighting world.
We follow O’Toole all the way up the ranks of mixed martial until the pinnacle of his career: his transition to Nascar.
NOTES: Upon release, this movie accumulated a lot of positive press for use of a patriotic sport like Nascar. Trump tweeted positively about the movie 4 times within 6 hours of watching the movie. McGregor was offered a cabinet seat but told Trump to “Go Fook Yourself!”
A family living in 1970s Rancho Cucamonga, CA has been having quirky disturbances on their farm. One morning they all wake up in a pitch black room.
The family has 13 hours to figure out why they got their and how to use an iPhone to get them out.
NOTES: Per TMZ, the movie used upwards of 1000 iphones in the 6-week shoot.
A New School art student made a documentary film of all the butts he saw throughout one summer. Chod Moscoe got an old camcorder and recorded thousands of rear-ends for a 90 minute montage. Moscoe walks the tightrope between illegal and masterpiece flawlessly.
Butts of New York takes voyeur to heights never seen before. The first 3D documentary experience, “Look back at it” has never looked the same.
NOTES: This peeping-tom style of film translated into one of the most popular virtual reality video game sub-genre’s PGP(Peeping Game Play)
By some biological miracle, Bob and Walt both have conjoined twins. Their four kids end up deciding going to the same school. Taking place 20 years after the original, Stuck on You 2 starts with the children of Bob and Walt are now applying for colleges.
The four of them quickly become campus superstars. Dealing with drugs, sex, and appropriation they will need their dads more than ever to get through these trying times. Will they succumb to the pressures of college and force permanent separation?
NOTES: Greg Kinnear and Matt Damon fought the director to force the young actors to stick to each other throughout the whole time shooting the movie.
Doug Corner has a had his dog for five years. Doug feels like he doesn’t really know his dog. After a long week at work, he decides to go on a road trip with his dog to the mountains.
On one of their hikes, his dog stops in the road as if he sees something. They head back to their campsite. While cooking dinner, Doug hears a voice saying something. It’s his dog.
Doug sees into his dog’s views on politics and social issues. He did not realize he was living with such a misogynistic and right leaning personality. Doug has to either come to terms with their differences or leave him in the woods.
NOTES: PETA has tried suing this movie dozens of times on the grounds that they don’t believe a dog would have those views. The studio made a countersuit stating that it is very likely that some dogs would think in a similar manner. PETA was forced to pay $3 million.
Posh Kendricks is like every normal teenager: just wanting to have their voice heard. For a couple years, Posh has been having trouble getting followers on her Youtube account. Her pranks and makeup tutorials seem to get lost in already saturated market.
Kendricks can’t anticipate what happens next!
It was just another day Martin Luther Academy, when suddenly a fight breaks out. Posh is caught in the middle, and accidentally elbows and knocks out a white supremacist that instigated the fight. Immediately, she is the biggest hero in the news.
Posh becomes a civil rights symbol by the court of public opinion. Soon, she was the biggest channel on Youtube, and was being asked to speak about civil rights any chance she could. Could she live up to the aurora that was created by an incidental elbow?
NOTES: “Fame” was the first major success full length Youtube Studios movie. In the coming years, there were only 15 movie theatres left in the country, and Amazon owned 10.
26. “Timeless” James Blake ft. Vince Staples
Are we all one connective conscious manifested in separate beings in the form of a society? Timeless asks the questions.
Darryl Jan couldn’t scratch the itch that he felt like his life’s purpose hadn’t presented itself. Like some twisted dream, Darryl wakes up in the body of an astronaut on Mars. Delirious, he comes to the realization that isn’t a dream.
Darryl will have to figure out how to get out of his head or what it means to get out of his head? Darryl has to come face to face with what reality is.
NOTES: Jaden Smith’s return to film in this sci-fi thriller. According to the New York Times, Jaden Smith was very serious during production and refused to wear shoes on set unless he could have a say in what wardrobe made in it the final cut. If you look closely, there’s a skirt hung up on a hanger in the background as a appeasement to Jaden to promote fashion diversity.
A Spinal Tap without the humor and Rob Reiner, Play it, Bach! is a concert movie for the ages. Flashing between concert footage and filming of the band in their old stomping grounds, the audience gets in intimate look at what it takes to be a Johann Sebastian Bach/Sebastian Bach fusion band.
A master class in heavy metal and classical music, the “Bach Boys” balance the two perfectly. The pride of Sweden, Play it, Bach! brings the heat in showing why this timeless band will never be forgotten.
NOTES: After the films release, the Bach Boys’ album “Rip the Key” was the most streamed album on Tidal for 14 months until Beyonce released her new album.